The Audition

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The Audition

 

                Last week, we had choir auditions to determine what groups we will be placed in next year.  I have never even done choir before this year, and I started slightly before Christmas, when the choir director, who also happened to be my AP Music Theory teacher, convinced me that I should do it.  I said sure, I’ll try it, and he was very pleased with himself.  Anyway, I was forced to participate in these choir auditions if I wanted to have the option of doing choir again next year. 

                The auditions consisted of a choice between either America the Beautiful or My Country Tis of Thee, and then some other pop song of your choice, until they cut you off.  It was to all take place on Tuesday starting at 3:00 and continuing until about 7:00 or 8:00, or until everyone had finished auditioning.  I will have you know that nothing in the world terrifies me more than singing alone in front of people. Maybe dancing; I don’t know.  Therefore, I was extremely dreading this choir audition.  It also didn’t help that we had a choice when we auditioned, in that we could go in at any time, and all we had to do was write our name down immediately beforehand.  Right after school, I went down there, and there were heaps of people, so I decided I would come back later, and go home first.  I came back around 7:00, and fretted around for an hour before the door lady practically dragged me in.  She had been repeatedly telling the directors for the past thirty or so minutes that I had been waiting outside for four hours, too afraid to go in.  For my first song, I did My Country Tis of Thee, just like mostly everyone else, and then for my second song, I suddenly decided to sing Smoke on the Water.  However, after two or three lines of the song, I forgot what came next, and awkwardly stopped, at which point the main choir director said, “Alright, you’re done!”  Afterwards, everyone asked me how I did, and I basically told everyone that I had been so freaked out that I didn’t even know if I was good or not. 

                Afterwards, I asked myself why singing alone was so frightening for me.  I finally determined that the difference between singing and playing horn is that on horn, I have had private training for years, I know how I’m supposed to sound, and I know that I’m good.  I have developed a great deal of confidence through several high pressure solo situations, in front of professionals who know exactly everything that I’m doing right or wrong.  The difference with singing is that I lack this confidence.  I have never had a private lesson in my life, I’ve never had to perform before, I don’t know how it’s supposed to sound when I sing, and I know that compared to everyone else, I have almost no preparation.  At least, that’s my best explanation.