12/21/2012

442

12/21/2012

                I believe that the world will continue past Friday, and that there is no reason to think that the Mayans could predict the final day of the world.  Most reasonable people probably agree with me.  But if it did, I would definitely be one of the survivors.  Let’s predict that one percent of the world’s population will be able to continue their existence.  Here is why I would be in that one percent.

                First of all, I am in great physical condition and very healthy.  It makes sense that the healthiest, fittest people would be the ones that would survive the environmental catastrophe that takes place.  I live in a developed country, and have been well fed and nourished my whole life, and I am quite active, so I would guess that I am in the top one percent of the world in terms of fitness and health. 

                In addition, I am pretty intelligent, so I would be at least as resourceful and clever as any other person in the world, thinking of the best way to survive.  It might be hiding underground, it might be finding a gas mask, it might be stuffing my pockets with matches and lighters, stealing all the food I can fit in two carts at Walmart, jailbreaking my iPhone (through hardware, not software), or unhooking the batteries from every car within a mile for whatever I might need them for.  Different situations definitely call for different actions to be taken. 

                Let’s assume, as most scientists would suggest, that the safest place to live would be underground.  This is assuming that there is some kind of contaminant in the atmosphere that would be extremely harmful to humans and other life, even fatal.  I would find out as soon as possible when the world was ending, and hack into governmental communications to find out where all the most ‘important’ people were going in the new underground world.  With my help, we would create an air filtration system that pumps the air we need out of all the crap from above ground.  That would be until I design a way to break carbon dioxide into O₂ oxygen and either diamonds or graphite, or some other carbon molecule or compound.  Maybe just old-school ashes.  Nevertheless, they would soon recognize my value.

                Finally, Jackie Chan would be our martial arts coach, and would be our guide to the two new official world languages, Mandarin Chinese and Cantonese.  I’m getting kind of excited.  On the inside, I really do hope that the world ends on Friday.  If all else fails, Jesus will take me and most people in the world to Heaven.